A letter to Kayley and my younger self

Inspired by Kayley Loo’s article about her struggles with job Application rejections and Growing impostor syndrome while seeking employment under the UK Graduate Route Visa, journalist Anca Voinea shares ten crucial insights she wishes she had known when facing similar challenges as a young migrant woman finding her path in a new country.

by Anca Voinea

Dear Kayley,

Your article for Migrant Women’s Press brought back memories of my days as a young graduate seeking journalism opportunities. As you ponder what the future might bring and consider your options, I wanted to share a list of the ten things I would have liked to have known when I was your age and going through similar challenges.

1. As you probably already know, living and working in another country can expand one’s horizons incredibly. Your circle of friends likely already includes people from diverse backgrounds and will only grow over time, further enriching your life experience. You will be able to see things from different perspectives, thrive in multicultural environments, and quickly adapt to changes, something employers will value.

Image by Chris Trung at Unsplash

2. If you choose to stay in the UK, you will immerse yourself in the British way of life and absorb British culture. Do you already queue with the patience of a saint, crave Sunday Roasts, and watch Wimbledon finals? If not, you will soon find yourself doing all of the above. 

3. Wherever you choose to settle will become your local community. You will see yourself as belonging to this community and want to join in local celebrations or calls for solidarity during times of crisis. If you decide to acquire British citizenship, you will have to invest a substantial amount of time and money into this worthy endeavour. Once you pass the test, you will be incredibly proud of what you have achieved – this was not acquired by birth; you had to earn it, which makes it even more special.

4. Yet, no matter how hard you integrate into the British way of life, there will always be people who will continue to see you as “a foreigner”. This will be something you will face in your work life and your personal life. You will attend work or social events and find yourself answering lengthy interviews about how and why you ended up in this country. You will be able to tell whether people ask out of curiosity or because they think you should not be living in their country. You will have to grow a thick skin and have the confidence required to stand up to those asking such questions. Knowing your worth, as well as your rights will be key to this.

You will have to grow a thick skin and have the confidence required to stand up to those asking such questions. Knowing your worth, as well as your rights will be key to this.

5. The older you get, the harder it will be to be apart from your family. You will notice that your parents are getting older and start worrying about what the future might bring. You will begin to realise that the time you spend apart from them is time you could spend with them.

6. Your family will love you just as much as before you left, but they will not be able to have as close a relationship as they would if you lived in the same country. You will find yourself hiding things from them to avoid worrying them, and they will do the same. This might also mean that you will face challenges by yourself and not be able to rely on them for support. Be prepared to be independent.

7. When you visit your country of birth, you will find yourself at odds with some of what is said or done. You will, by then, be used to some things being done in “the British way”. People around you will also think you’ve changed and occasionally reproach you for this. The same goes for when you are in the UK and do things differently, the way you’ve been taught to do them growing up. You are allowed to pick and choose what you like best from each culture, and you can form your own opinions rather than try to please either side.

8. Sometimes, things will get tough – you will feel sad and lonely and wonder if it’s all worth it. You will think of all you’ve left behind and question whether you might have had an easier life by staying home than by making it on your own in another country. But let’s face it, you are not one to go for what’s easy. You like to challenge yourself.

9. As tabloids and populist politicians continue to vilify immigrants, you will continue to feel unwanted and wish that at least some politicians had your back. Just remember that you were brave enough to choose to move abroad and be on your own at such an early age. You are not one to be easily deterred from pursuing your dreams. You’ve got this!

Sometimes, things will get tough – you will feel sad and lonely and wonder if it’s all worth it. You will think of all you’ve left behind and question whether you might have had an easier life by staying home than by making it on your own in another country.

10. Your ability to speak your native language will be affected by the lack of practice. Of course, you will still be able to speak it, but you will occasionally forget words. Be sure to make friends who speak your native language so that you can keep practising with them. On the plus side, your English will improve even more, particularly if you continue to write for a living, so much so that you will find yourself thinking and dreaming in English. Some people will assume that your English is not as good as that of a native speaker, but you’ll know that you have skills other people don’t. The fact that you had to learn the language means you most likely understand grammar and syntax better than the average native person.

To sum up, living abroad may come with some considerable benefits, but it requires some hard sacrifices as well. It is important that you are aware of all these advantages and disadvantages and know what to expect going forward. Don’t be disheartened by the amount of unsuccessful job applications. The right job will come along, whether in the UK or elsewhere. One thing is certain: you have options. Whatever you decide to do, remember that you are an intelligent, brave, hard-working woman who can achieve anything she sets her mind up to, regardless of what others might say.

Anca Voinea, is a trained journalist based in Manchester. She is originally from Romania and has been living in the UK for 16 years. She holds a BA in International Relations and Politics from Coventry University and an MA in Web Journalism from the University of Sheffield. Currently, she is pursuing a postgraduate certificate in Journalism Innovation and Leadership at the University of Central Lancashire. Anca is the international editor of Co-op News, a print and digital magazine focused on co-ops and mutuals.

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