Sandra Faith Erhabor is a writer and cultural mediator. In her work, she creates an intercultural bridge between Nigerians and Italians. She supports social health services in Italian municipalities and also participates in awareness-raising projects in academic fields and public and private services.
by Juliana da Penha
“I write every day. When I am lonely, I write. When I am happy, I write. I can be in a square, watching people walking and I write. I can be sitting alone, and I start writing. Is my way to express myself, to give out opinions and advice to people. That’s how I developed my writing abilities.”
Literature is a tool, which many migrant women found to express themselves. These writings are an important part of the records of women’s experiences with migration.
Sandra Faith Erhabor from Benin City, Nigeria is from the ethnic group Edo and a mother of 7 children. She arrived in Italy in 1993. Her dream was to work as a teacher, a profession she acquired in her home country, at an early age.
“When I arrived in Italy, it wasn’t what I was told. I called home and said: don’t allow any of my people to come!” Sandra discovered the job she is supposed to do was prostitution. She refused and with the help of a nun and other women who refused to enter prostitution created a group to fight against women trafficking and sexual exploitation. After that, she started to work to change people’s lives and this was something she always dreamed about. She worked on streets helping prostitutes who were being trafficked and exploited to get out of this situation.
Sandra is well-known in Verona because of her work as a cultural mediator and also because of her writings. Her book “I will never stop writing”, launched in 2017 is a collection of poetry in which she writes about herself, her thoughts and feelings. She is one of the poets of “Poesie dal Mondo” (Poetry of the world) a group of women from different countries who found in poetry a way to express themselves.
Sandra is also part of Laboratori Saperi Situati, an interdisciplinary project formed by a group of researchers from Verona University and practitioners from the public and private sector working to create social cohesion, discussing themes such as maternity and education in transcultural contexts, using art and spirituality to create knowledge and coexistence practices (https://www.laboratoriosaperisituati.com)
As vice-president of Nigerian Women Association, she is also involved in different projects supporting migrant communities, especially Nigerian women and families in Verona. You can easily find Sandra at Casa di Ramia, a women’s intercultural centre, well know in Verona for the work with migrant women. She attends and develops different projects there, such as the women empowerment project, providing sewing lessons so women can learn new skills and overcome unemployment.
“When I arrived in Italy, it wasn’t what I was told. I called home and said, don’t allow any of my people to come!”
Interview with Sandra Faith Erhabor
What are your family memories?
Sandra: I came from a very large family, my father married with 5 women. I am the daughter of the second wife. My mom had 3 children and my father had many children. My father was an educator, he died with 100 years old in 2004. In our home my father always told us to don’t create problems between ourselves and don’t fight. We always played together but if we were offended with anybody, he always asked us to write it down in order to don’t fight. So, on Sundays, we had a family meeting, where all the stories we wrote were read out loud. All the stories I was writing were appreciated by him because I was his stubborn child. So, every Sunday I did read all the stories about what people did to me, even my father wives. That’s how I developed my writing abilities.
That’s was the most unique part of my father. I and my brothers and sisters are from different mothers, but he makes us unite.
“In our home my father always told us to don’t create problems between ourselves and don’t fight. We always played together but if we were offended with anybody, he always asked us to write it down in order to don’t fight. So, on Sundays we had a family meeting, where all the stories we wrote were readout.”
And what memories do you have of Benin City?
Sandra: I was born and grow up in Benin City. I love that place. I love the environment and the people are so lovely. We are brother keepers. When your mother is not there, another mother will care of you. We relate with our neighbours; we are a big family. That’s is why you see Nigerians calling each other brothers and sisters. We might not be sisters or brothers by blood, but because we came from the same ethnic group, the same country and the same street, we call ourselves brothers and sisters. That’s how Benin City is. Edo is a Kingdom in Benin City-state. We are Edo people, from the Edo Kingdom, is a very big and old kingdom, with good stories of our Obas (Kings), men, women, all loving people.
The best thing and what I love more in Benin is my King, Oba Ewuare II. I love him because he is very educated and he is the only Oba that was able to fight against prostitution, in a declaration he made on March 2018, a dream I had since 1993. He was formally an ambassador in Italy. He lived in Rome, so he knew everything that was happening in Italy and all of Europe, concerning Nigerian women. People always call Nigerians prostitutes, Edo prostitutes. Edo became a light concerning Nigerian prostitution. Immediately when he became Oba, within a year he was able to put stop in prostitution. That is because I love him so much.
“The best thing I love in Benin is my King, Oba Ewuare II. I love him because he is very educated and he is the only Oba that was able to fight against prostitution, in March 2018, a dream I had since 1993.”
What were the motivations to you come to Italy?
Sandra: When I was in Nigeria, I lost one of my children, my 3 years old son. It was like as my life was closed up. He was never sick, he wakes up in the morning, become cold, we rush into the hospital and he died. When my auntie that was here in Italy called me, I said I want to change my surroundings. And she said, if you come here, you will be able to do your teaching work or babysitter. The idea of these opportunities moved me to come.
When I arrived in Italy, my aspiration was to become a teacher here. But the lack of documentation was a barrier. The people who bring us here didn’t give us a document. I didn’t know that arriving here I would need a permit of stay and without this document, there is nothing you can do. That period became darkness until I came to Verona and started selling clothes and other staffs on the streets and also in houses. While I was doing this, I was attending different courses in the evening.
I wanted to change my life for good. I wanted to transmit the history of my life to people, to tell people what is really happening here. Without studying there is no way you will be able to do that. When I got the documents, I was able to study and work. Without documents, you can do anything here. Documents are very important. In Nigeria, the majority of the people doesn’t know this, because there these documents are not as important as here. The moment you arrive here without documents, your dreams are off because there is nothing you can do. Without documents you are afraid of the police, is like living in a prison outside the prison. I would advise anybody to don’t come here without documents.
So, I had this dream, to go to school here in Italy. I did the courses “Social Sanitary Operator” and “Street Operator”. My dream is to change people lives. Today I work as a Cultural Mediator.
“Working with social services here I understood the differences between our culture and Italian culture.”
Could you explain what is the role of a cultural mediator and how did you become one?
Sandra: I started to learn the Italian language because I knew if I want to change my life in Italy, I needed to learn the language. I started to do many different courses to improve my language skills and learn other things.
The last course I did was “Street Operator” in which I am working until today. I became a mediator. The necessity to become a mediator was to change other women’s lives. Knowing what they were coming to do here, knowing that is very risky, I decided to become a mediator. As a mediator, I am able to speak out with people to help them to change their lives. I started also to work with social services, schools and public services in Verona.
A cultural mediator is a person who is between two cultures, the Italian culture and the culture of your land of origin. In my line of work, I want to help Italians understand how we live in my culture, in Nigeria, and I would have to make my people, my fellows Nigerians, understand how to live here in Italy, in the Italian culture. As a cultural mediator, we help to translate, we are linguistic mediators.
At the beginning of my work, I was going to see girls on the streets, working as prostitutes. In this job I make the girls reflect on what they were doing, asking them if they think is good if they think they need to change their lives. The problem I identified, is that when someone wants to leave the street work there is no support for this person. I had some in my house, I had some with friends to help them take care of their children, but we couldn’t help as much.
“I started to learn Italian language because I knew if I want to change my life in Italy, I needed to learn the language.”
What is the most difficult part of this job?
Sandra: The most difficult part of this job is my fellow Nigerians. Since I started to work as a mediator, I lost many friends because they thought of me as an informant for the police, they were looking to me negatively. Now I don’t have friends, I don’t go to people’s home, don’t go to churches, because my presence always makes them fear and I don’t know why.
But when I see a woman that was suffering from mental health issues and now is working, doing well, calling me mummy, it makes me forget about the lost friends.
What are the most important things you learned working as a cultural mediator in Italy?
Sandra: Working with social services here I realized the many differences between Italian and Nigerian culture. For example, there are some laws here regarding women rights. In Nigeria, there are also rights, but there are things your husband can do to you and in our culture, we just overlooked it.
Another thing I realise that happens here with migrant communities, something I want to change, and I write some stories about it is the separation of children. In many couples, when they have an issue, they go to social services. Sometimes the woman makes a complaint against the man and they put these woman in a house and give some money to her. But after, they say that the woman is not capable of taking care of her own children and they separate the woman from their children. Instead of uniting the family to stay together, they cause separation. This is too complicated, and we don’t do it in my country. There are no problems in a relationship that can never be solved. You see a happy family, with a little problem and now the family is destroyed with the children in foster care, with families that are not theirs. This was the most annoying thing I saw here.
Tell me about your book “I will never stop writing”.
Sandra: I wrote a poetry book. All my stories are connected to life changes. I am part of the poetry group “Poesia dal mondo”. Before I belong to this group I was always writing on Facebook. When they saw what I was written on Facebook they invited me to be part of the group. And this group and other women that are from Casa di Ramia, helped me to realize my dream. I named this book “I will never stop writing”. I will never stop writing until when everything is changed for good. I have the dream of changing attitudes. I have the dream to change the lives of prostitutes. I have the dream to change a delinquent person, to a normal person.
Where your inspiration to write comes from?
Sandra: Firstly, my inspiration to write comes from God. God is our supreme being that always opens our eyes to see things that others might not see.
Also, my family and my father that started stimulating me in writing at a very young age. Also, the group of women I belong, the work I do, that make me be able to have this knowledge. And then I can pass my knowledge to others. I have this book published and many stories published as well.
I write every day. When I am lonely, I write. When I am happy, I write. I can be in the square, watching people walking and I write. I can be sitting alone, and I start writing. Is my way to express me, to give out opinions and advice to people.
“Before to speak about the political situation in Italy, I need to speak about the political situation in my country. Before judge others, judge yourself. If you want to change others, change yourself.“
In one of your poems “Each time” you speak about the life of migrants in Europe. You start saying “Each time I am sitting alone in my room my thoughts of the suffering, the stress in Europe always makes me wonder, ask myself so many questions if Europe is worth dying for”. In Italy, especially, things are getting really tough for migrants. What do you think about the political situation in Italy, especially related to migration?
Sandra: Before to speak about the political situation in Italy, I need to speak about the political situation in my country. Before judge others, judge yourself. If you want to change others, change yourself. The political situation in Nigeria is zero, in the sense that when a child grows up, the opportunities to attend school and go to university are not there. We cannot create jobs because we don’t have even electricity. The electricity system is zero.
Many of them think about coming to Europe. But to come to Europe you need a visa, and the possibilities to get one is zero because it cost a lot and they can’t afford. Even who can afford are very few, they go to places like London to study. People are now desperate. Imagine parents are borrowing money to put children in school, hoping the child will grow up and help the parents. In the end, parents continue to help the child even after the University, because the child cannot get a job. What does this boy or girl are thinking to do? Make a change, travel, to see if they can get a job. The simple way for them travel is to the see but we lost millions of our brothers and sisters in the sea. The few that manage to arrive here, realized that they need the documents before anything, so they can’t get a job. So, the desperation comes. Many of them end up in mental health hospitals.
The problem with the politicians here is that they refuse to see the motives behind these journeys. If they manage to sit down and understand the motives behind these journeys, then they will be able to solve the problem, starting from Africa. Ok, it’s good they are using the money to have many of us here, but this money can create good jobs there, help to develop electricity that is lacking over there, it can help build schools and create jobs to make people stay there. Knowing the motive behind these travelling they can go to the roots of the problems.
They can put a stop on it, creating something in Africa, to develop the systems there, so people will not come. They said that people who are coming are a problem for them. But people who are coming are victims of situations and conditions that nobody wants to sit to solve. The problem with the laws they changed is becoming even almost impossible to get a document here and as a result, you can’t get a job. That’s why we are organising ourselves within our communities to create jobs. For example, we are working on a project where women can learn to sew and sell their work.
“They said that people who are coming are a problem for them. But people who are coming are victims of situations and conditions that nobody wants to sit to solve.“
How is the feeling today, 25 years after arriving in Italy?
Sandra: Fantastic. Looking every year what I have done in the past years, I give God the glory of giving me that strength.
What is your dream?
Sandra: First of all, a better Nigeria, where everything will be fine, where the citizens will be at home. My second dream is to see Europe helping us to live better in the countries we Africans are living in. Treating us as one of them, taking us as human beings, as brothers and sisters who are suffering and need help.
You can purchase Sadra’s book “I will never stop writing” here: https://www.giuntialpunto.it/product/1980966397/libri-i-will-never-stop-writing-poesie-ms-sandra-faith-erhabor
